Pre-Planning a Funeral: A Step-by-Step Guide

Here's what happens when someone dies without a plan: their family — while grieving, exhausted, and in shock — has to make 70+ decisions in less than 48 hours. Burial or cremation? Which funeral home? Open casket? What songs? What outfit? What flowers? Who speaks? How much to spend? Every decision is a potential argument between siblings who are already emotional.

Pre-planning eliminates all of that. You make the decisions now, while you're calm and clear-headed, and your family follows a plan instead of guessing.

Why Pre-Plan?

Pre-planning isn't morbid. It's one of the most generous things you can do for the people you love.

You remove the burden from your family. Instead of arguing about what you "would have wanted," they follow the plan you wrote. No guessing. No guilt. No regret.

You control the decisions. Want cremation? Direct burial? A celebration of life at the lake? Green burial in a pine casket? YOUR call — not your children's, not your siblings', not your spouse's second-guessing at 2am.

You lock in today's prices. Funeral costs rise 2-4% annually. A funeral that costs $8,000 today will cost $10,000+ in a decade. Some pre-paid plans let you pay today's prices for a future service.

You prevent overspending. Families making decisions in grief consistently overspend. They upgrade the casket because they feel guilty. They add services they don't need because the funeral director suggested them. Your plan sets the budget before emotion enters the room.

You protect your family from financial shock. If you pair pre-planning with final expense insurance, your family pays nothing out of pocket. The insurance payout covers the funeral costs you've already planned.

The Two Parts of Pre-Planning

Pre-planning has two halves. Most people only think about the first one.

Part 1 without Part 2 means your family knows what you want but still has to figure out how to pay for it. Part 2 without Part 1 means the money is there but your family still argues about what to do. You need both.

Part 1 — What to Decide Now

Decision 1: Burial, cremation, or alternative?

• Traditional burial (casket, vault, cemetery) — $7,000-$12,000+
• Direct cremation (no service) — $1,000-$2,300
• Cremation with memorial — $3,000-$5,000
• Green burial (no embalming, biodegradable casket) — $2,000-$4,000
• Alkaline hydrolysis / water cremation — $2,000-$4,000
• Body donation to medical science — $0 (the institution covers costs)

Cremation vs burial → · Direct cremation → · Green burial →

Decision 2: Which funeral home?

Visit 2-3 funeral homes in your area. Ask for their General Price List (they're required by law to give you one). Compare costs. Choose one that feels right — but don't sign anything until you've compared. Your family can always change the funeral home later.

Find funeral costs in your WV city →

Decision 3: What kind of service?

• Traditional funeral (formal, at a funeral home or church)
• Graveside service only (brief ceremony at the cemetery)
• Memorial service (no body present, held after burial or cremation)
• Celebration of life (informal, themed, anywhere)
• No service at all

Celebration of life ideas →

Decision 4: The details

• Music (specific songs or just a genre/mood)
• Readings or poems
• Who gives the eulogy
• Open or closed casket (if applicable)
• What you want to wear
• Flowers or "in lieu of flowers, donate to [cause]"
• Pallbearers (if burial)
• Military honors (if veteran)
• Special requests (specific cemetery, scattered at a location, buried with an item)

Decision 5: What you DON'T want

This is just as important. Be explicit:

• "I do NOT want an open casket."
• "I do NOT want a long, formal funeral."
• "I do NOT want my family to spend more than $X."
• "I do NOT want to be embalmed."

Stating what you don't want prevents the guilt-driven upgrades that happen when family members are making decisions under emotional pressure.

Part 2 — How to Pay for It

Option A: Final expense insurance (recommended for most people)

A small whole life policy ($5,000-$25,000) that pays out within 24-72 hours of death. Your beneficiary uses the payout to cover funeral costs — or anything else they need. Premiums start at $30/month, never increase, and coverage never expires.

Pros: Fast payout, rate locked, no medical exam, flexible (family can use money for anything)
Cons: Monthly premiums for life

Burial insurance for seniors →

Option B: Pre-paid funeral plan (through a funeral home)

You pay the funeral home directly — either a lump sum or in installments — and they guarantee the services at today's prices. When you die, the funeral home delivers exactly what you paid for.

Pros: Locks in today's prices, removes ALL decisions from family
Cons: Tied to one funeral home (transferring can be difficult if you move), less flexible, the funeral home holds your money

Option C: Payable-on-death savings account

A bank account designated with a specific beneficiary. When you die, the beneficiary can access the funds immediately (without probate) to pay funeral costs.

Pros: You keep control of the money, earns interest, fully flexible
Cons: Money might be spent before you die, doesn't lock in prices, may not accumulate enough

Option D: Existing life insurance

If you already have a life insurance policy large enough to cover funeral costs, you may not need a separate plan. But verify: does the policy expire? Is the coverage amount still adequate? Is the beneficiary current?

Option E: Combination

Many people combine approaches — for example, final expense insurance to cover the financial cost plus a written plan with the funeral home to cover the decisions.

The worst option is no option. Without a plan, your family pays $8,000+ out of pocket at the worst moment of their lives.

Where to Keep Your Plan

A plan nobody can find is the same as no plan at all.

Tell your family where it is. This sounds obvious, but it's the #1 failure point. People create beautiful plans and file them in a drawer nobody knows about.

Give copies to at least 2 people. Your spouse/partner AND one adult child or trusted friend. If one person is too grief-stricken to act, the other can step in.

Do NOT put it only in a safe deposit box. After death, accessing a safe deposit box can take days or weeks — and the funeral home needs instructions within 24 hours.

File a copy with your funeral home. Most funeral homes will keep your pre-plan on file at no charge. When you die, your family calls the funeral home, and the plan is already there.

Include it in your estate planning documents. Your attorney should have a copy alongside your will, advance directive, and power of attorney.

Estate planning in WV →

Keep a summary card in your wallet. A simple card that says: "In the event of my death, contact [Funeral Home Name] at [phone number]. My funeral arrangements are on file. Insurance policy #[number] with [company]."

The Pre-Planning Conversation

The hardest part isn't filling out paperwork. It's bringing it up with your family.

Don't spring it on them at Thanksgiving dinner. Choose a calm, private moment. "I want to talk about something important — not because anything is wrong, but because I love you and I want to make things easier."

Frame it as a gift, not a death wish. "I've been thinking about how to protect you from having to make a bunch of expensive decisions during the worst week of your life. I've made some choices, and I want to share them with you."

Be specific. "I want to be cremated. I want my ashes scattered at the lake. I don't want a formal funeral — just a gathering at the house with good food and my music playing." Specificity removes ambiguity.

Listen to their feelings. Some family members will resist the conversation. That's normal. They're not rejecting you — they're rejecting the reality of mortality. Be patient. You can revisit it.

Put it in writing even if they don't want to talk about it. Their discomfort doesn't change the need for a plan. Document everything and tell them where to find it.

Pre-Planning Checklist

Frequently Asked Questions